1. |
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I have a friend; A roommate to be exact
He had a little problem with our little flat
He had a damp room from the leaky ceiling
The roof was quite revealing of our home
So we called up the landlord he said he'd come over
He looked at the ceiling and leaned on my shoulder, he said
"It's just a simple task of calling up a guy
And he will do his best to fix your window to the sky"
He said he'd help us
He said he'd fix it
He said he'd call a guy who'd be there in a tick
He said he'd help us
And then he didn't
Now I realise my landlord sucks
He calls every now and then to take the rent
The money that he needs it seems that he's already spent
We always pay him early yet he always seems so surly and I
Think he may be mad to an extent
Cause whenever we see him he's getting all flustered
His sentence cohesion seems quite maladjusted he's
Making excuses to leave
Is it possible that I am just naive?
Because
The ceiling has been leaking for so many months
A scaffolder came over and he may have helped us ONCE
Our water tastes quite strange and, see, the colours that it comes in range
From white to blue and sometimes pinky grey
And please don't get me started on some of the neighbours
He knows how to choose them, they don't do us favours
They're stealing our bins all the time
I'm not sure but I think that might be a crime!
He said he'd help us
He said he'd fix it
He said he'd call a guy who'd be there in a tick
He said he'd help us
And then he didn't
Now I realise my landlord sucks
My landlord sucks
Cause he is never doing what he says
To him an hour means five days
He sucks
My Landlord sucks
Because our house is breaking gradually
I wonder if he even sees
The grief he's putting us all through
Instead of nails he uses glue
And thank you for a lovely home but
Next year we'll leave you alone!
-Next three lines picked-
He said he'd help us
He said he'd fix it
He said he'd call a guy who'd be there in a tick
He said he'd help us
And then he didn't
Now I realise
Almost much to my demise
To be frank, quite surprised
I never noticed with my eyes
Because now I realise my landlord sucks
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2. |
Way Too Drunk (acoustic)
04:38
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Bring home the chips and crack open the wine
Tonight we'll abuse our livers and all have a bloody good time
I have been waiting for this all week long
I got so impatient that I wrote a typically cheesy folk song
And tonight is the night that we probably will not recall
Cause when morning arrives we'll be wondering why we wrote all of that nonsense on the wall
And the photos we took won't give any of us any clues
Cause they'll all be so blurred and most probably were all just photos of all of that booze?
We're gonna drink way too much
And get way too drunk
And we probably won't even find the way back to our home
You might even sleep in a ditch
Or you'll call your girlfriend a bitch
And I'll look for the answers in all of the texts on my phone
Where are the cards, let's all play a game
Spread them around a glass into which we will all pour our shame (said accusingly)
So what if the deck contains extra cards
It just means we'll have to drink more, and soon we'll all let down our guards
And the quicker you drink then the sooner we'll get off your backs
Just forget all your worries and let the sweet liquer help you to relax
We're a couple of pints from the point when we start to forget
But I don't give a crap, no I know I'll have fun, just as long as I don't pass out yet
We're gonna drink way too much
And get way too drunk
With the end result being my wallet being short a few quid
I saw you throw up in a glass
And I saw when you fell on your arse
But if you don't remember it happening, it never did
No it never did you see when I talked to that girl at the bar
She's gorgeous, don't you know that I got her number
It contains a few letters that spell the word "Loser"
But it's just a coincidence, think I might text her
Number not recognised this is some kind of joke
Just a mistake oh well I could do with a coke
I don't feel well. I'm not feeling so good. Get me another pint.
We're gonna drink way too much
And get way too drunk
And I probably won't even see that girl ever again
But you know I couldn't care less
No I will not stress
Cause I'm having an awesome night anyway with all my friends
We're gonna drink way too much
And get way too drunk
And it's four o'clock now and I think it is time for my bed
What a great night out
I could scream and shout!
When I see you tomorrow I expect I'll be clutching my head
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3. |
Linoleum (NOFX cover)
01:43
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4. |
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No-one told me that the way to your heart was through a brain
If I'd known that I'd have made myself much smarter and insane
Cause your bright white eyes are making me feel like I'm going crazy
And I understand that you don't walk that slow cause you are lazy
I would hold your hand but I'd worry it would break
And although you need to stay away from crowds for their sake
I will stick you, no matter where you go
Because no-one understands you like I do
Yeah I love the way you moan it makes my body shiver so
You're mysterious in far more ways than I could ever know
And I know you'll never explicitly tell me that you love me
But I feel it in the grip you use when come up to hug me
Your aroma stings, it's a richness I adore
And although you need my help to open up a door
I'd always oblige, for the things that you do to me
Because no-one understands you like I do
And I hope that I will one day be like you
But apparently my DNA resists your infectious charm
And the bitemarks that you left all up and down my bloody arm
Are a symbol of our love, it's undead and it will never die
Because no-one understands you like I do
When you moan and scream and wail the whole night through
I would hold your hand but I'd worry it would break
And although you need to stay away from crowds for their sake
I will stick you, no matter where you go
Because no-one understands you like I do
And hope know, that I really, really care
When you look in my general direction with your vacant stare
You're a mystery, and you mean so much to me
Because no-one understands you like I do
There ain't no-one with a lust for brains like you
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